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I Hate The Transformers (movies)


I try my best to be positive. I try not to dwell on the negative. Not just when it comes to movies, shows, wrestling, etc but with life. The glass is half full, you can work harder to fill it more or give away what you have to someone with less. That type of thinking. You know what I mean. Which is why it pains me to say that, I hate the Transformer movies.

Now, if you want a fancy schmancy list, head over to Shell’s latest blog about James Bond songs: here. I don’t do lists, I just give you hard hitting, in your face facts. So, here we go.

They are on their fifth film with this summer’s release of “The Last Night.” Five! Yes, King Kong Bundy, FIVE. Not one of these films has done anything for me. Not one moment of “WOW” while watching. The first ones with Shia LaBeouf had the Autobots looking like comedic foils. The newer ones with Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch have them over acting. In their robot forms, they look like, like, nothing words can describe. During their transformations, the sequence looks as it they are seizing.

Call me old fashioned but these films do not even come close to the 80’s cartoon series of the film. Hell they don’t even come close to the Beast Wars cartoon reboot. The movies didn’t offer up any sense of wonderment for me. Nothing to make me care about the film or to fear Megatron. It is all just a bunch of explosions for the sake of saying “we have big explosions in our movie.” Big deal. I have been looking at big explosions every July 4th since I was a kid and the local mobster would shut the block down with two caddy parked at each end and starting lighting fireworks. Plus, this is the day and age of the greatest CGI usage in films. Captain America 2 had three giant helicarriers falling from the sky and while I knew it wasn’t real, I was still in awe of it.

Sorry Mr. Bay, but when it comes to Transformer films, you don’t have the touch.

Keep Banging Baby

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